


Good Enough

by wlwdiaz



Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: 118 Being Supportive, Bobby Nash is a good man, Eddie-centric, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mentioned Buck/Eddie, One Shot, Sad Eddie, The 118 Is A Found Family
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-06
Updated: 2021-03-06
Packaged: 2021-03-12 17:02:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,167
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29887740
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wlwdiaz/pseuds/wlwdiaz
Summary: Nothing he ever did was good enough. Not for his parents, not for Shannon, not for Buck, not for the 118. No one.
Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 74





	Good Enough

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, everyone! I hope that this story is okay, I had a lot of fun writing it, and exploring Eddie a bit, based off of what I have seen from him. Please let me know what you think! Comments and Kudos are appreciated!

Eddie felt his jaw clench, his hands forming into fists against his thighs, his nails digging into the skin on his palm. His eyes, filling with tears, threatening to drop at a moments notice, his lip wobbling slightly.

Nothing he ever did was good enough. Not for his parents, not for Shannon, not for Buck, not for the 118. No one.

He felt like, everything he did, was a failure. Taking care of Chris? He failed at that. Being a good boyfriend to Buck? He failed at that. Being a good son to his parents? Oh, you guessed it. He failed at that, too. Nothing he did was ever good enough, never.

And now, sitting here, before his parents, his Abuela, His aunt Pepa, his crew, it had solidified in him.

Nothing he did was ever good enough.

He must have moved wrong, made a funny noise, cause suddenly, all eyes at the table were on him, everyone staring deep into him, Buck included.

He looked around, the tears in his eyes falling freely now, streaking down his face, down onto his neck, into his shirt.

“Why am I not good enough for you?” His voice broke, his hands were shaking.

His mother opened her mouth, going to speak, but his father, Ramone, held a hand up.

“Edmundo… you know we love you… it’s just… we’re not… _happy_ with you…” And Eddie’s heart broke a little more on the inside.

“Nothing that I have done has ever been good enough for you. _I_ have never been good enough. For either of you. It’s always “Eddie, you’re doing this wrong!” or “Eddie, that’s not how you’re supposed to take care of your son!” Nothing! You thought… No. You think… you think that I am a terrible father… You think that I am a shitty person, in general. You didn’t think I was a good husband to Shannon, and you think the same of me dating Buck.” He paused to take a breath.

“Nothing that I have done has ever been good enough for either of you.” His mother had tears in her eyes, his father sitting back into his seat, arms across his chest.

“You know that’s not true, sweetheart.” His mother laid a hand on his arm gently, her fingers wrapping and squeezing the skin there gently.

He pulled his arm out of her grip, the tears falling freely again, his eyes burning.

“It is true! I don’t know how else you want me to think of it!” His voice broke, once more, his lip wobbling more now. “You hate me.” Abuela gasped softly, shaking her head a little.

“Eddito… hey…” She said softly, a comforting hand being placed on his arm.

“No… no. I can’t do this…” He pushed his chair out from the table, grabbing his plate, drink, silverware and napkin, disposing all of it into the sink and trashcan on his way back inside.

He took himself up the steps to his old bedroom, his mind on auto-pilot right now. He opened the door, the familiar smell of old books and records filling his senses. He shut the door, locking it, and sank against it, pulling his knees up to his chest.

He was almost a 30 year old, and here he was crying his heart out in his old childhood bedroom.

God, he felt pathetic.

He had let his parents get the better of him, let them take control of his life once more, gaining influence over Christopher.

He didn’t want to ever come back here again, let alone bring Chris with him. He just couldn’t do it. Couldn’t face them like this. Not now, not ever.

He liked to think, after moving to LA, brining Christopher with him, that there would be a new, fresh start. That he would be able to forget about everything in his past, start with a new, clean slate.

He was wrong. God, how he was so fucking wrong.

Everything came back to bite him in the ass. Shannon. His parents. Medical bills. Everything.

He didn’t know how much longer he could take it, until he really, truly, broke.

He hoped no one, not even Buck, was around to see it. He didn’t think Buck would know what to do with that side of him.

He didn’t know how much time had passed from being in the room, but his eyes felt heavier, his ass was starting to go numb, his limbs felt like dragging lead around. He honest to god, felt like shit.

He just didn’t know how to face anybody right now, not after his little speech.

Turns out, though, he didn’t have to be the one to come out first. They came to him, all of them.

“Eddie?” He heard Bobby ask through the door, knocking softly. “Eddie, it’s us… the crew… can we come in?” He asked softly, and Eddie whimpered softly, but got out a ‘yes’.

He unlocked the door, scooting out of the way for Bobby to come in, the man giving him a gentle smile, crouching down beside him. He rested his hands on Eddie’s shoulders, a comforting weight, both of them looking over at the door, the rest of the 118 filing into the room, Buck standing closest to him, Chimney and Hen taking the sides of him.

Buck slowly sat down against the floor, pulling Eddie back against his chest, his arms locking over his chest, grounding him. Eddie’s hand came up and squeezed Buck’s, his eyes filling with tears again.

“Eddie, I need you to listen to me, okay?” Bobby said softly, and Eddie nodded a little, Buck squeezing him just a bit tighter.

“Eddie. You are one of the most kind, caring, and selfless men I have ever known, and worked with. You are such an amazing father to Chris, I see evidence of it every time I see that kid, or when we come over for family dinners. You… there is no one in this whole world, I’d rather have seeing Buck. You… you are an amazing man. You deserve the world and more, kid. I know your parents words hurt, I know. But… their words don’t matter. You overcame all of those obstacles, proved to them that you weren’t the shell of the man they thought you were.” Bobby had started tearing up now, his hands never leaving Eddie’s shoulders.

“I couldn’t be more proud of the man that’s sitting in front of me.” He said.

Eddie let out a choked sob, leaning into Bobby’s embrace, Buck still holding him close, Hen and Chimney pulling him close as well.

This… this was his family. His found family. People that he could go to for guidance and support, people that loved him for him.

He truly felt safe, in these arms, felt the most loved.

And he realized something, all through this.

He was good enough.

He wasn’t a failure.

Everything he’s done, everything he’s been through… he was good enough.

He was good enough.


End file.
